Dear Bowl of Rice Advice,
What do you do when your ex won't talk to you after she dumped you via txt msg? Especially when the day before she did that, she said with apparent sincerity in her heart "I love you". We need to talk, or at least I do, and she won't reply to my msg's. I know she's hurting and I at least want to know she's ok.
Hope you've got some good advice on this one, cos I'm stumped, and desperate for her communication.
Dear Desperate,
I'm sorry you are going through this. I know every bone in your body feels the right thing to do is communicate with this woman. You may feel like if you could just talk with her, golden things would flow from your mouth to fix everything.
Stop.
Sit on your hands, hide your cell phone, deprogram her number if needed. Become very very occupied with anything you can come up with. Ask one of your friends to be your sponsor in this if needed. Because the very last thing you should do is try to force or demand communication if she needs space.
Even pushing communication for the best intentions puts pressure on her, and could likely show her that you are as desperate as you are feeling right now. She obviously can not handle the emotion of this situation for some reason, which she is demonstrating by breaking up with you via text. Women are not attracted to desperation at all. Give her space, freedom, and respect to follow her wishes at this time. You will not only save your dignity, you might even save your relationship.
Sincerely,
Bowl of Rice
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Dear Deer.....
Dear Bowl-of-Rice,
How do you fight that awkward "run into the ex" moment? I sometimes think I handle it well, but I've been told, despite my smile, it looks like I'm watching puppies being killed. Help.
Dear Deer-in-the-headlights,
This is actually some very good advice my mother gave me recently:
You are making this person too big, too powerful over your life and your reactions to them show it. A great way to put them in perspective, or cut them down to size is with a little activity.
Draw a picture of your ex. Use crazy colors and big sharpies and let out all your angst in this cartoonish drawing; really let your emotions out. When finished, cut out the figure of your ex, and crumple them up into a tiny ball. Then, put this ball in a ziploc bag and put a little water in it. Then put it in the freezer, and leave it there.
This may sound like voodoo, but its not. The next time you see your ex, simply remind yourself: "Why you are just a crumpled up frozen little ball in my freezer. You have absolutely no power over me." And then just walk on wit yo bad self.
Sincerely,
Bowl-of-Rice
How do you fight that awkward "run into the ex" moment? I sometimes think I handle it well, but I've been told, despite my smile, it looks like I'm watching puppies being killed. Help.
Dear Deer-in-the-headlights,
This is actually some very good advice my mother gave me recently:
You are making this person too big, too powerful over your life and your reactions to them show it. A great way to put them in perspective, or cut them down to size is with a little activity.
Draw a picture of your ex. Use crazy colors and big sharpies and let out all your angst in this cartoonish drawing; really let your emotions out. When finished, cut out the figure of your ex, and crumple them up into a tiny ball. Then, put this ball in a ziploc bag and put a little water in it. Then put it in the freezer, and leave it there.
This may sound like voodoo, but its not. The next time you see your ex, simply remind yourself: "Why you are just a crumpled up frozen little ball in my freezer. You have absolutely no power over me." And then just walk on wit yo bad self.
Sincerely,
Bowl-of-Rice
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